Yesterday was our college's acquaintance party. I was having second thoughts of attending but still, I attended the party because I really want to spend some time with my friends.

Though my wish/reason for coming did not 100% come true (that is, spending time with my friends), I still enjoyed the party. The food was great, the program was great, the games were great, the performances were great, the people were great. In other words, IT WAS GREAT. Hahaha.

I found myself sitting alone most of the time. Part of me says I should be brave enough to go to my batch mates' (2013) table and introduce myself to them and hopefully, start a new friendship. I was secretly dreaming that we will be close friends, shopping together, dining together, walking together, blah blah blah (hey, a girl can dream, right?!).

But when I saw them... NO FREAKING WAY. Yeah, they are really intimidating. REALLY REALLY INTIMIDATING. My fear took over.

Part of me says to be with my supposedly batch mates (2012). But every time I see them chatting away about how they organized the party, their new-found crushes, their classes, I find myself thinking that I don't want to go there. I will just be envious, I will mentally compare myself to them, and I will mentally cry. So NO WAY.

A large part of me tells me to just stay where I am, try to enjoy the party even if I am sitting there alone (not necessarily alone because Kim was beside me but still, alone. ewan). Sometimes, being alone is not bad, you know, because it can help you think about your life and become emo. But most of the time, I hate being alone. I spent my childhood days alone kaya because I'm an only child (alone but not lonely).

Things change.

God did not let me be a part of batch 2012. I don't know nor understand why. There are times that I question God (sometimes I get mad at Him) because He didn't let me be with my friends.

As of now, I still can't understand WHY. I don't know when will I understand the things that happened. The only thing I know is that God has a plan for me. This happened not without Him knowing. He knows all things. He works for the good of people. He desires that.

I guess, the only thing that I can do now, is to accept the fact that indeed, things change.

Labels: emo, photos

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Four years and still going strong! Yes there are misunderstandings, but that's part of the relationship, right? It only makes our relationship stronger and it's a good thing because we grow together. Thank you Lord for blessing our relationship!

More anniversaries to come!!! =)

Labels: anniversary, eph, love

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I ended up not watching Gossip Girl. I read Boy Meets Girl instead. But I still ate my Mr. Chips.

I made up my mind: I'm definitely going to my college's acquaintance party this Friday. I think I'm ready (well, I think there is no right time to be ready. I just have to face the truth; even if it hurts.). Besides, Dennis Sempabwa's youth crusade was extended until Sunday (hanggang Friday lang sana but because of the typhoon Frank, pinauwi ang mga nag-attend nung Sunday afternoon and Sunday night kaya extended ang crusade).

I still have 2 days to laze around and do nothing.

And I'm making the most out of it. =)

Labels: random

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Kamusta naman. Malapit na mag-12, gising pa rin ako. Ayaw ako dalawin ng antok.

Nacheck ko na blogs, mail, and friendster account ko, napalitan ko na skin ng multiply at blogspot ko, na-i-comment ko na pinapacomment sa akin ni Eph sa friendster ko, natulugan na ako ni Eph, naayos ko na mp3 ko sa laptop, na-upload ko na lahat nang dapat i-upload sa multiply, na-visit ko na lahat ng sites na gusto ko i-visit, natext na ako na hindi dito matutulog tita ko, nagawa ko na halos lahat... OL pa rin ako. Hay.

Nagugutom na ako. Wala namang makain. Teka, may Mr. Chips dito. Pero ayoko pa kainin.

Gusto ko manood ng Gossip Girl. Kaya lang gusto ko muna mabasa yung book saka hindi ata complete 'yung episodes na nabili ko.

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Fine. Manonood na ako ng Gossip Girl habang kumakain ng Mr. Chips.

Labels: blah, random

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It's our college's acquaintance party this coming Friday. But I've made up my mind: I'm not coming. Yes, I want to see my friends and bond with them because it's been a while since I last saw them and talked to them. But still, I'm not yet ready.

I'm not yet ready to hear their stories about their classes and experiences. I still feel that this is all wrong; I should be ONE of them. I should not just listen to them but also be a part of the conversation because I was WITH THEM. Still, the truth hurts.

I asked my mom whether or not I should let my friends know this. She said yes, I should always be honest. I don't know if there will be consequences after they read this entry, but I hope they will understand... I KNOW they will understand.


*****

I don't know why but I'm really excited with my date with Eph this coming Wednesday to celebrate our fourth year together. We both want this day to be simple. But we ended up with our original plan. Go to MOA, again. Hahaha.

We already gave each other our anniversary gifts. Excited kami. Hehehe.

Four years. Four years. Four years.
Who would have thought that we will last this long?
Four years. Four years. Four years.
Our love for each other is so strong.

Can I ask for anything more? Nah. I may not have the perfect life, but God, my parents, my friends, and my boyfriend made this crazy world close to perfection.

Labels: emo, love

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Just read this from PAWS's official site.

We can't choose our relatives. But sure enough, we can choose our pets. Help make a difference. Adopt a pet now! See how it can change you pet's future life, and also your life. Small things lead to bigger things. So don't underestimate your "power" to save the world; even in your own little way.

Visit PAWS now. =)

Labels: organizations

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June 13, 2008 (6:55am)
I know I should not wallow in self pity. But every time I see people coming my way, I'm still hoping that I know them. But I don't. Most of the people I know have gone to proper (whatever college they may be) or some of them have graduated or transferred to another school. Surely, this sem is the start of something new. New classmates, new professors, new experiences, and hopefully, new friends. But hey, I'm not doing bad. I just met one of my "potential" batchmate last Tuesday and two of my bio lab classmates. My bio lab classmates approached me and said that they pity nonblocks/irregular students because it's as if they have their own world because they (nonblocks) do not know anyone.

I don't know if I want people to pity me. I don't know if I want them to be happy for me either.

As I type this blog entry in my phone, here I am, all alone, outside of my Org Chem classroom, waiting for my professor. Actually, I'm not that alone. My Org Chem module, bio lab manual, and bio lec module is keeping me company.

I can feel a pang of envy when I see groups of students chatting away on their way to their rooms.

And I think one of the groups I saw are my org chem classmates. And there... is Robidillo.

June 13, 2008 (10:57am)
Just when I thought everything was OK, I found out that my Org Chem classmates are Intarmed students and I'm the only "nonblock ate" in that class.

I repeat: They are Intarmed students. So that's the reason why our discussion was fast. That's the reason why Robidillo kept asking them (or us) questions because he knows they (or we) definitely know the answer. That's the reason why some of them don't listen but when Robidillo asks them, they still know the answer even if they are not listening to Robidillo's discussion. So this is what it feels to have Intarmed classmates.

It sucks.

I feel so alone. Though I know I'm not really alone because God is with me every step of the way, my parents support me, my friends encourage me, and my boyfriend strengthens me.

Please forgive me if I am now obsessed in self pity. I'm still trying my best to adjust.

*****

On the lighter side of life (hahaha), some of my friends keep recommending the book "Twilight" written by Stephanie Meyer.

I think I want to read it. But I'm still having second thoughts if I'll buy the book (I keep seeing it in Powerbooks. It's like it's tempting me to buy him/her/it).

I don't really want to spend my P299/399 on a book that I'm not sure if I will like.

But it seems... The book is good. Otherwise, they will not recommend it, right?! Right.

I'll think about it. =)

Labels: emo, rants

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I love my schedule this sem! I only have classes on Tuesdays and Fridays. Thank you Lord for the favor! =)

Labels: UP

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I never thought that I will have my "huling hirit" summer outing this summer break. It all started when mom asked me if Eph's OJT is finished. Luckily, he is indeed finished. CONGRATS! GRADUATION NA LANG ANG KULANG, CHEF EPHRAIM RIVERA! Yes, I can now proudly call him CHEF. Ang sarap sabihin.

Anyway, Chef Eph and moi went to Pampanga last Thursday then watched The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (with my parents). Narnia rocks!!! The next day, we (mom, dad, and Chef Eph) went to Subic for our first and last outing this summer. The original plan was to go to the beach and to soak ourselves for the rest of the day. But lo and behold! Nagside trip kami sa Ocean Adventure. Yes, it was out of the plan, but I can honestly say that I enjoyed the whole summer getaway! Too bad the cam that my uncle gave me has "naglolokong" battery so the battery went dead in just 2 hours. And kamusta naman, pati cellphone kong may cam hindi rin nakisama. So I didn't get to take our pictures in the beach. (No one will ever see what I wore. Haha!)

And just like what Chef Eph said: SANA MAULIT MULI... =)

Labels: eph, family, fun, love, summer

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